I guess this thread is as good as any.
Via certain circles I had come to know this Asian woman around my age, turns out we actually had been to same events relating to our common hobby as teenagers. We had really nice conversations, and she seemed slightly autistic and not the crazy outgoing type. For example, her profile pic was an AI generated picture of an Asian girl holding a small dog. That kinda thing. Domestically minded, I thought. We had fun talking.
Last time we talked, something was left hanging, and she said 'if you give me your number I'll get back to this' and I agreed. Today I finally texted her, jokingly inquiring about that earlier thing, then asking if she had any free time during summer, adding 'should we see at the town?'.
Took quite a few hours and she replies, pretty decently about that other thing, closing with 'Yeah, working the entire summer with no free time at sight :)'
Like, I have things going on in my life that offer me fulfillment. I'm pretty decent at genuinely believing I shouldn't evaluate myself based on what others think. But moments like these make me think I might actually be repulsive. Even my question was posed just hanging out (The conversation was not in English).
Not gonna say fml, but damn. Good thing I have hobbies. (Don't care if anyone reads this, just had to vent it out. So thanks.)