>>40491453
Because bad habits lead to bad thoughts,

One of the things that helped me overcome my sick zoophile fetish was replacing it with healthier interests. Works the same way here, look for interests that aling with what you want deep down to be, not what your brain instinctually goes too, right now that being wanting to pop pills and over dependency. Healthy interests and hobbies will allow you to engage in more moral and normal thoughts and can lead to a greater lifestyle change if you are persistent enough. Just again, don't beat yourself up, recognize the bad thoughts, but don't dwell on them, don't act on them.