"In pink? It comes in... er... brown... and piss? Your choice!"

Hmph. "Brown. I guess."

"Hokay! Brown coming right up. I know you're tough and all, but you're still a little lady, er, dimensionally, so I'll go ahead and give ya—"

"A lot," you say firmly.

"A lot," Gil confirms. "Um, but not... I-I-I'll do a shot, but I can't... yeah."

You nod. "Give him a shot! And make him drink it with his finger!" (Gil sighs.) "Don't give Claudia anything, or she'll—"

"Shut up! I'm older than your mom and dad put together. Twice. I want whatever she's having."

"No you don't," you say. You don't care if she's a Fawkins: Claudia sober is bad enough.

"Um, you really don't... there's a whole thing with..." Gil leans in and whispers, but Claudia's expression doesn't change. "What she's having," she says louder, cutting him off.

"Hell, I don't discriminate. You're a grown lady, aren't you? Make your own decisions. Had my first drink when I was, shit, 8? Or 9? Here you are, hon." Earl pushes a full cup in front of you and Claudia, and a quarter-cup in front of Gil.

Claudia leans down to examine. "How does the drink stay in the..."

"Shh!" Earl claps a hand over his own cup. "Don't ask!"

"I-I-It just does," Gil says hastily. "I-I-If you spend too long thinking about it, that's how you go nuts. I-I've seen it. But if you don't think about it, you get to have a drink, so..."

"So you're saying the gods want me to drink this. I can work with that." Claudia narrows her eyes, then, as you watch in terror, downs the entire thing. "Look at her go!" Earl's saying. Gil has buried his face in his hands.

Claudia doesn't cough or sputter, though you think that's a goo thing, not from a lack of wanting to— when she clunks the cup down, her face has gone a funny color. "This... thish stuff sucks dick... did you fucking put pills in it?"

Earl frowns deeply. "No! It's genuine—"

"You put pills in it! I need a fucking doc! I'm gonna, gonna drop dead, or... thish shit is... this is poison, or..."

"You're drunk," Gil says, a little irritably. "I-I-I told you what was going to happen, and you didn't listen, so now you're way too goddamn drunk. You absorbed it. You're goo. Look."

He hovers his hand over his own cup, evaluates, then snaps his fingers in front of Claudia's face. "I-I-I'm serious! Look!"

Claudia's head was lolling a little, but she straightens in time to watch Gil dunk his finger into his cup. The liquid inside drains steadily. ("Wow!" Earl says.) "See? I-I just absorbed it. Because I'm goo. And now I'm..." He prods his reddening face. "...not drunk, because I-I'm not a goddamn little contrarian, but I can feel it. So you're not poisoned, you're just... aw, fuck."

Claudia's lip is wobbling. Gil exchanges glances with you and Earl. "Um, maybe you should go lie down? I-I know it's no fun to..."

(2/3)