>>81728404
i also just vomit my thoughts out so i understand.
I consider myself an observer, i just....observe shit and say what i think about it.
Before i quit my job balancing it with school and going to the dojo was sooooo hard.
you might have to do it a couple days a week or weekend and take a week or two off everynow and then idk.
thats what i did, it put huge holes in my training schedule.
I used to gamble alot when i was a teen. it was my vice version of drinking i guess
watching 1000s of dollars disappear into the ether as i spun those virtual slots was so....hnnnnnng.
something always triggered me, maybe i was really horny or bored or something.
i somehow managed to quit it even though i loved it more than anything.
Gambling away cash,gooning and watching garbage anime made me happier than fuck but i had to recognize the strain it was putting on my life.
Idk how its like to have kids and a wife and stuff, but if you've made it there you life mog me like fuck.
In my dumb nigger opinion you just need to recognize that these are the things in life that will replace that beer in your hand, after that you can take simple steps to be the best man you can be for you people.
And realistically you can try to drink less in any case.
Maybe if you fix your diet, work out, hydrate and reduce your drinking you'll be fine you have good motivators in your life as well.