>>81512189
I think you should be honest completely with them anon and then take heed the help they try to give you.
If you aren't honest with them, the help they can give you or will give you will not work, and you'll prolong your suffering.
You said yourself that you feel like you need help and are desperate.
Just be honest with them.
Its their job to help you, not judge you or make you sicker.