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7/21/2025, 2:02:47 PM
I can't complain to be fair, it is quite nice.
I still know emotional pain as a thing people want to avoid but I haven't experienced it recently despite rejection and stuff. Anger and stress feel like urgency in general rather than having actual feelings. I don't get stressed or embarrassed anymore so I'm more confident asking girls out and putting up a bit of a fight w my mates when I'd normally be the submissive one. I also don't spiral anymore and feel completely free from people's emotional expectations of me. My brain recognises the thought loops for what they are and just dodges the whole lot if potential pain is projected, like a reflex.
Sometimes it's not good because my empathy is quite damaged so instead of feeling remorseful or guilty I feel proud which means I can be a bit of a dick. Some of my closest friends are quite pissed that I'm not empathetic like my old self. Stuff that used to make me feel guilty makes me feel excited. Also I don't feel moral disgust at things anymore, and I've become a bit more manipulative than I would maybe like. I was probably a nicer person before.
Although it feels like there's nothing to "get away" from, so I don't feel the need to avoid things; i only do things because of the positive reward and not out of fear or anything.
ChatGPT and all the lefties said it would make life less "human" and fulfilling and while I kinda see where they are coming from, that point is very negligible in comparison to the advantages. Although, I would say that, wouldn't I? I don't miss things anymore. It basically feels like I'm in mini-GTA or some kind of virtual machine, 24/7.
(Incase you wondered how I got like this, I was in a large amount of stress for a while while also being head-injured for a while, then became significantly relieved from both in quite quick succession so my default is naturally upshifted to have compensated, and then I took a bunch of NAC to deal with another hit to the head)
I still know emotional pain as a thing people want to avoid but I haven't experienced it recently despite rejection and stuff. Anger and stress feel like urgency in general rather than having actual feelings. I don't get stressed or embarrassed anymore so I'm more confident asking girls out and putting up a bit of a fight w my mates when I'd normally be the submissive one. I also don't spiral anymore and feel completely free from people's emotional expectations of me. My brain recognises the thought loops for what they are and just dodges the whole lot if potential pain is projected, like a reflex.
Sometimes it's not good because my empathy is quite damaged so instead of feeling remorseful or guilty I feel proud which means I can be a bit of a dick. Some of my closest friends are quite pissed that I'm not empathetic like my old self. Stuff that used to make me feel guilty makes me feel excited. Also I don't feel moral disgust at things anymore, and I've become a bit more manipulative than I would maybe like. I was probably a nicer person before.
Although it feels like there's nothing to "get away" from, so I don't feel the need to avoid things; i only do things because of the positive reward and not out of fear or anything.
ChatGPT and all the lefties said it would make life less "human" and fulfilling and while I kinda see where they are coming from, that point is very negligible in comparison to the advantages. Although, I would say that, wouldn't I? I don't miss things anymore. It basically feels like I'm in mini-GTA or some kind of virtual machine, 24/7.
(Incase you wondered how I got like this, I was in a large amount of stress for a while while also being head-injured for a while, then became significantly relieved from both in quite quick succession so my default is naturally upshifted to have compensated, and then I took a bunch of NAC to deal with another hit to the head)
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