>reading FoE for the first time here
I read the first six chapters. A lot of plot threads were created, but none were followed or expanded on. The story jumps around from one location to another with zero explanation of what happened in between and little reasoning why Pip chose to do what she did. I did manage to keep track of what was going on, even if it was a little difficult at times.
On a technical level, the writing's decent. There's a few errors here and there but nothing major. My only major gripe is the everpresent fic issue of too much description, especially at the wrong times. It isn't so bad it kills the enjoyment, but I really don't care about the painting on the ceiling when the character is in a building full of brain damaged ponies who want her dead.
I'm also docking some points for self levitation, >>>/poochie/.
Also vidya gaym mechanics with a level up each chapter, but as far as I can tell they don't do anything. The raiders are just XP fodder like in the games I guess? Could do more with 'em, but no biggie.
So far I give it a 7/10 for pretty nice but could be better.