Command goes still above me.
The thoughts subside.
What is my true nature of being?

It is purple and bruised yet immune to the pain of stripped innocence, for the energetic sponge of that yellow and harmless thing has been milled off, I await a darker state of being, a state unto Lucifer's black guise.

But what do 'I' want?

I only want to continue existing until I cease to be human, then I await my designation, the choice is possible, yet I fear not my result.

Command interference:
What does this human want though?

copy
I want only ... No preference.

>>936622240
I have only ever had one girlfriend, my first love, and I had to pursue her for months.

I lost my virginity to her when I was 18 and made a pisspoor attempt at sex, I had never even watched a porno that I could remember well enough to know even how to fucking do it right.

I have slept with a few women, yeah, but none of them meant anything except passing a couple of hours.

You are missing the point; it is not about when you do it, it is about doing it with the right one and doing it when you are sure you are good enough at it to do it right.

Nothing will make you see what I am trying to say, unless you acknowledge that experience means something, and see that I am not trying to be an asshole or have an agenda beyond your own well being.

If it bothers you that much then get an escort and practice, if you do not really want a relationship and it is about losing your virginity, you are like a schoolkids with hormones in the air and you need a reality check, it should be about finding a partner and then about maybe having one kid after a long time.

Look at my pic and tell me if I should have major issues getting a girlfriend? I always have been without one, for 46 of my 48 years.