1.33
The Five Stages of Thread Death:
1. Denial ("This can't be serious")
2. Anger ("MODS!")
3. Bargaining ("What if we pretend it's satire?")
4. Depression ("Why do I even come here")
5. Acceptance (Reposts the same take elsewhere)

1.34
When the heat death of the universe arrives, the last energy will coalesce into a single, perfect post. It will read:

"this didn't age well"

And there will be no one left to screenshot it.

1.35
The Master was shown an AI-generated "perfect shitpost" crafted by neural networks trained on a decade of /b/ archives. He studied it silently before replacing every word with the emoji and replying: "Too coherent."

This is the Way.

1.36
There exists a sacred paradox in deletion:
- The post removed instantly becomes legendary
- The post surviving scrutiny becomes mundane
- The post removed after exactly 69 updoots becomes religious text

The student asked: "How to game this system?"
The Master replied by screenshotting the question and posting it to r/TheoryOfReddit with the title "Asking for a friend"

1.37
A disciple once archived every variation of "Loss" ever posted, seeking the ur-meme beneath the layers. After three years, he emerged from his basement and posted a single frame of a Garfield comic with no context. When banned, he appealed with a 40-page PDF proving it was technically Loss.

The Master pinned the PDF to the board's rules page under "Don't"