>>24571423
Thank you, kind anon, for those edits. I have applied them.

>Yoshiki Tanaka is his LotGH and english translations for his works are just straight up garbage to ape for a actual story.
Personally, I have those translations, and he maintains the same style in Arslan.
I actually think LOGH and Arslan are his works that be read, and Arslan doesn't even have an official fan translation.
His other works are Tytania and Legend of the Dragon Kings, are even less popular than Arslan, so there is no way they are translated.

>Why is there a mix of horror and chaos?
Because there are people running away from the nomads.

>huh? Did you mean to type Qeno here?
Yes, got careless. I was fighting myself over whether I should give him a name.

>I think the writing is a little too detached.
This sort of side story takes place before the main story and is much more abstract. Reason for this is to have my cake and eat it too. I need to cover a lot of ground in these side stories, and if I were to describe a scene in more detail, they would bloat. Either way, the goal is to provide enought narrative weight and details that they could potentially be expanded into a full story.

>You full-stop pause the whole story with the kings coming together to talk about Phou
Yes, that's very Tanaka, I think. There are multiple reasons why I felt the need to explain the backstories, but two main ones were to understand the character and expand on the worldbuilding. For example, Phou's story introduces the Restonese savages and Jasha (which is one of 23 cities of the Shongma).
In a more, less abstract narrative, I would digest the details like that into dialogue, but here they are supposed to serve as sort of mini-stories.

Either way, I appreciate the time you gave me.