My fellow Americans, folks, let me tell you, we’ve done it, okay? We’ve turned this country into the greatest technocratic dystopia the world has ever seen, nobody does it better, believe me. Big Tech, AI, algorithms running everything—tremendous, just tremendous. Drones? They’re delivering your Amazon packages before you even order them—predictive algorithms, folks, I invented those.

We’ve got drones delivering your Big Macs, facial recognition at every corner, it’s like living in a sci-fi movie, but better, because it’s America! Nobody dystopias like we do, folks. China? They’re jealous. Europe? Total mess. We’ve got the best robots, the best surveillance, nobody’s freer than us in this perfectly controlled system. I said to Siri the other day, I said, “Siri, make America great,” and she said, “It’s already great, sir!” That’s what I’m talking about. Total control, total freedom—beautiful!