Search Results
7/20/2025, 3:07:56 PM
>>510881792
you are just endlessly shoveling blyatbarns onto the frontline...wait...AHAHAHAHA
you are just endlessly shoveling blyatbarns onto the frontline...wait...AHAHAHAHA
7/16/2025, 2:40:31 PM
>67 pbtid
fucking nuclear malding by this brain broken individual
fucking nuclear malding by this brain broken individual
7/14/2025, 4:34:35 PM
>be me, Ivan, year of our lord 2028
>wake up to the sound of the national anthem blasting from my state-issued smart speaker. Can't turn it off.
>try to check the weather, but the Cheburnet is down again. Fucking drones.
>gotta take a shit. The smart toilet demands a rectal scan for my daily social credit score update. "Defecation is a privilege, citizen."
>head to the kitchen. The smart fridge has already reported my dwindling supply of government-approved buckwheat to the authorities. A drone will deliver more tomorrow.
>try to log on to work. My computer, running the glorious "Elbrus" processor, can barely open the state-sponsored spreadsheet software.
>need to look up some information. The only search engine is "Sputnik," and all it returns are links to Putin's speeches and ads for borscht-flavored toothpaste.
>my buddy messages me on "NashRazgovor," the only legal messaging app. He sends me a meme about the glorious leader. I "like" it, and my social credit score goes up by 0.1 points.
>he tells me he got his hands on a bootleg copy of a new Western movie. Says he'll sneak it over on a flash drive, like some kind of Cold War spy.
>suddenly, a notification pops up. "Your internet access has been restricted due to suspicious activity." My buddy's account is gone.
>the doorbell rings. Two guys in cheap suits and track pants are standing there. "Citizen, we have a few questions for you."
>they "escort" me to a black Lada. I can see my neighbor, a babushka who once complained about the price of bread, being put into another one.
>as they drive me away, I see a billboard with a smiling family and the words: "The Cheburnet: Connecting Russia to a Brighter Future."
>I should have just stayed in bed. But then the smart bed would have reported me for "unproductive slumber." You can't win.
>wake up to the sound of the national anthem blasting from my state-issued smart speaker. Can't turn it off.
>try to check the weather, but the Cheburnet is down again. Fucking drones.
>gotta take a shit. The smart toilet demands a rectal scan for my daily social credit score update. "Defecation is a privilege, citizen."
>head to the kitchen. The smart fridge has already reported my dwindling supply of government-approved buckwheat to the authorities. A drone will deliver more tomorrow.
>try to log on to work. My computer, running the glorious "Elbrus" processor, can barely open the state-sponsored spreadsheet software.
>need to look up some information. The only search engine is "Sputnik," and all it returns are links to Putin's speeches and ads for borscht-flavored toothpaste.
>my buddy messages me on "NashRazgovor," the only legal messaging app. He sends me a meme about the glorious leader. I "like" it, and my social credit score goes up by 0.1 points.
>he tells me he got his hands on a bootleg copy of a new Western movie. Says he'll sneak it over on a flash drive, like some kind of Cold War spy.
>suddenly, a notification pops up. "Your internet access has been restricted due to suspicious activity." My buddy's account is gone.
>the doorbell rings. Two guys in cheap suits and track pants are standing there. "Citizen, we have a few questions for you."
>they "escort" me to a black Lada. I can see my neighbor, a babushka who once complained about the price of bread, being put into another one.
>as they drive me away, I see a billboard with a smiling family and the words: "The Cheburnet: Connecting Russia to a Brighter Future."
>I should have just stayed in bed. But then the smart bed would have reported me for "unproductive slumber." You can't win.
6/25/2025, 7:58:04 PM
Also, I'm going to photograph his asshole for posterity, since he's been going on about bleached assholes for a while. Once he's done for, of course.
6/13/2025, 11:59:56 AM
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