>>76333626
>Be me this morning
>Get up
>Take a shit, smaller than usual
>Whatever, start wiping
>Immediately know it's one of those kinds
>Have to wipe for 30 minutes, use 1.5 rolls of paper
>Take a shower, forget everything
>Be afternoon, get back from work
>Shit again, this time it's even smaller
>Burns a hole through my sphincter
>Smells as if it came straight from my small intestines
>Same procedure, have to wipe till nirvana
>Am really upset, get on with my life
>Can't stop farting throughout the entire afternoon and evening
>Those kind of farts which are silent, feel like a stew rolled out your rear end and smell as if you shat yourself
>Wipe every time, but my buttocks are clean
>Be an hour ago
>Feel another fart and go to the toilet
>Sit down
>Fart so loud, neighbors think it was a thundercrack, they bring in their laundry
>Small shit the size of a chocolate kiss sits in the toilet
>Smells very very bad
>Have to keep farting, but no more shit in my intestines
>Wipe
>Same happening. Wipe my ass for a solid hour, use 3 rolls of paper, ass starts tearing and small blood spots appear on paper
>Give up, take a shower instead
>Still have to keep wiping
>Go to bed
>Open 4chins
>Start writing this
>Rip another one whole writing
>Start crying, finish greentext

WHAT the absolute FUCK is going on?! Nothing about my day to day routine has changed, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. WHY IS MY COLON ACTING UP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH