>Well, Gelt, I made it, despite your directions
Ah, Emperor Franz, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable army!
>Yeah
[Gelt runs to Solland, only to find his province is razed and gasps in horror]
Oh, egads! My province is ruined! But... what if I were to hire Averlanders and disguise it as my own army? [chuckles] Delightfully devilish, Balthasar!
[He begins to climb through the window, but Karl Franz enters the room]
>GEEEEEEEEEEELT!!!
Emperor Franz! I was just...uh---just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
>Why is there smoke coming out of your province, Gelt?
Uh...ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steam tanks we're building. Mmmm, steam tanks!
[Once Franz leaves Solland, Gelt breathes a sigh of relief, climbs out the window, and runs across the border to Averland, where he quickly recruits handguns and halberds to replace his lost army]
I hope you're ready for some mouthwatering handgunners!
>I thought we were having steam tanks
Oh no, I said 'steamed hands'. That's what I call handgunners
>You call handgunners 'steamed hands'?
Yes! It's a regional dialect
>Uh-huh. Eh, what region?
Uh... Reikland
>Really? Well I'm from Altdorf and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hands'
Oh, not in Altdorf, no. It's an Ubersreik expression
>I see
...
>You know, these handguns are quite similar to the ones they have in Averland
Hohoho, no! Patented Gold Order muskets. Old magical recipe!
>For steamed hands?
Yes.
>Yes, and you call them steamed hands, despite the fact they are obviously firearms.
Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
>Of course.
[yawns] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
>Yes, I should be--GOOD SIGMAR, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!
Chaos rift?
>Ah- A CHAOS RIFT!? At this time of year, at this time of day, this far south in the Empire, localized entirely within your province!?
Yes.
>May I see it?
...No.