Seriously, why do we still tolerate adults playing video games? They're literally digital toys. You're over 18, you pay your taxes, you're supposed to be building your own life... and you spend your evenings blowing up a mustachioed plumber or farming pixels in a Korean MMORPG? Have we regressed that far as a society?

Video games should be strictly reserved for those under 18, period. After that, it's no longer a hobby; it's an escape. A digital straitjacket for people who can't stand up for themselves. Go ahead, justify to me why a 32-year-old spends 4 hours a day on Zelda or Fortnite. "Yes, but it's a passion." No, it's escapism, a refusal to mature. You want a passion? Learn to do something useful, not grind a battle pass.

The devs themselves aren't mistaken: everything is designed for 12-year-old brains. The interfaces are extremely simplified, the rewards are constant to keep your reptilian brain awake, and even the scenarios are worthy of fanfic written on amphetamines. And I'm not even talking about gaming culture: adults whining on Twitter because their waifu changed her hairstyle.

And above all: look at the gamers. Go to any gaming convention. They're a mix of social outcasts, obese NEETs, and guys wearing Rick & Morty t-shirts that smell of piss. These are your ambassadors. This is the elite of digital entertainment.

In fact, I propose we impose reverse identity verification: if you're over 18, you're blocked. You want to play? Go have sex with a kid and watch them play. You, go pay your rent and learn how to cook pasta without it sticking to the pan.

Anyway. Gaming is like Lego. Great when you're 10, ridiculous when you're 30.