i hate tf2 because its something i often feel inclined to play but i can't play it for more than 15 minutes at a time these days because its just not that fun anymore.
i dont even know why i ever found it fun with how shit i always was at the game, sometimes it just makes me all too aware of how below-functional my brain is
because ive logged in 2.6k hours since age 12 and all that time i still haven't gotten gud. i rarely see a number of deaths that isn't over double my killcount, let alone below it. i've rarely been close to top scoring in any full casual lobby
i have no game sense, i don't know what im doing, im just brainlessly acting on impulse and dying in less than a minute
its all just noise to me
i wanna be a good spy player but thats pretty much the last class i'll ever be good at
im too autistic and brainfogged for this game
i wish i had all those hours back