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7/18/2025, 2:37:25 AM
>colbert walks on stage
>DINKLE DANKLEDOCK, DID YOU REALLY-- I MEAN, REALLY, THINK YOU WERE **ACTUALLY** GOING TO BE PRESIDENT??
>audience hoots and howls with rallying cries of agreement
>SILENCE YOU SHEEP. WE MOURN THE LOSS OF OUR STRONGHOLD ON THE AMERICAN ZEITGEIST
>all white males in the audience are liquefied into primordial ooze, which creeps into the pores and orifices of colbert, now offering himself on a refitted satanic altar
>FUCKING FOOL, FUCKING TRAITOR. HEH, TWO SCROOP THIS!!! FUCK YOU!!!
>colbert pulls out a white infant from a hidden compartment and, grabbing it by the feet, wildly slams it into the corner of his desk
>he defecates on the mangled remains and broadcasts a still image of the dead child for the next 5 minutes of the show
>audience sits nervously
>short period of absolute dead silence
>AND REMEMBER LÛT, WHEN HE SAID TO HIS PEOPLE: "COMMIT YE THE WORST SIN SUCH AS NONE PRECEDING YOU HAS COMMITTED IN THE 'ÂLAMÎN?
>VERILY, YE PRACTISE YOUR LUSTS ON MEN INSTEAD OF WOMEN. NAY, BUT YE ARE A PEOPLE TRANSGRESSING BEYOND BOUNDS."
>AND THE ANSWER OF HIS PEOPLE WAS ONLY THAT THEY SAID, "DRIVE THEM OUT OF YOUR TOWN, THESE ARE INDEED MEN WHO WANT TO BE PURE OF SINS!"
>THEN ALLAH SAVED HIM AND HIS FAMILY, EXCEPT HIS WIFE; SHE WAS OF THOSE WHO REMAINED BEHIND.
>AND ALLAH RAINED DOWN UPON THEM A RAIN OF BRIMSTONE. THEN SEE WHAT WAS THE END OF THE MUJRIMÎN.
>...
>a minute passes. cut to entire studio audience, all now fallen down dead from exsanguination of no apparent cause. all white males in the north american continent likewise mysteriously bleed to death simultaneously. remaining survivors convert to islam.
>...
>he suddenly flicks his head back and smiles.
>"stay right there ladies and gentlemen! coming up is brad pitt and miley cyrus! stick around!"
>2017 emmy award recipient, jewish american scholar of the arts nominee, recognized as "culturally or historically significant" by the national film registry
>DINKLE DANKLEDOCK, DID YOU REALLY-- I MEAN, REALLY, THINK YOU WERE **ACTUALLY** GOING TO BE PRESIDENT??
>audience hoots and howls with rallying cries of agreement
>SILENCE YOU SHEEP. WE MOURN THE LOSS OF OUR STRONGHOLD ON THE AMERICAN ZEITGEIST
>all white males in the audience are liquefied into primordial ooze, which creeps into the pores and orifices of colbert, now offering himself on a refitted satanic altar
>FUCKING FOOL, FUCKING TRAITOR. HEH, TWO SCROOP THIS!!! FUCK YOU!!!
>colbert pulls out a white infant from a hidden compartment and, grabbing it by the feet, wildly slams it into the corner of his desk
>he defecates on the mangled remains and broadcasts a still image of the dead child for the next 5 minutes of the show
>audience sits nervously
>short period of absolute dead silence
>AND REMEMBER LÛT, WHEN HE SAID TO HIS PEOPLE: "COMMIT YE THE WORST SIN SUCH AS NONE PRECEDING YOU HAS COMMITTED IN THE 'ÂLAMÎN?
>VERILY, YE PRACTISE YOUR LUSTS ON MEN INSTEAD OF WOMEN. NAY, BUT YE ARE A PEOPLE TRANSGRESSING BEYOND BOUNDS."
>AND THE ANSWER OF HIS PEOPLE WAS ONLY THAT THEY SAID, "DRIVE THEM OUT OF YOUR TOWN, THESE ARE INDEED MEN WHO WANT TO BE PURE OF SINS!"
>THEN ALLAH SAVED HIM AND HIS FAMILY, EXCEPT HIS WIFE; SHE WAS OF THOSE WHO REMAINED BEHIND.
>AND ALLAH RAINED DOWN UPON THEM A RAIN OF BRIMSTONE. THEN SEE WHAT WAS THE END OF THE MUJRIMÎN.
>...
>a minute passes. cut to entire studio audience, all now fallen down dead from exsanguination of no apparent cause. all white males in the north american continent likewise mysteriously bleed to death simultaneously. remaining survivors convert to islam.
>...
>he suddenly flicks his head back and smiles.
>"stay right there ladies and gentlemen! coming up is brad pitt and miley cyrus! stick around!"
>2017 emmy award recipient, jewish american scholar of the arts nominee, recognized as "culturally or historically significant" by the national film registry
7/18/2025, 2:22:26 AM
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