I've struggled with the idea of success for a long time. I have a lot of close and great friends, and have either directly or indirectly enriched the lives of dozens of people around me.

But no matter how often I hear about these things and are reminded of my influence, I can't ever really soak it in. I think part of it is mostly trying to keep my ego in check, but it's also because none of these details have brought me money. I feel like a loser because I never have money, and any attempt I've made to better my life that way has simply never worked out. I just don't know what to do, I don't want to give just to get in return, but I need something to push me forward in life.