Imagine a lunch get-together of 4 boomers, 2 couples. From afar, or in a quick snapshot it looks like they're all they're chatting, catching up, sharing what new crazy things they've read about in the media or that their children or grandchildren have shown them. On the surface, nothing is wrong.

But in this case, only 3 of them are actually engaing in this way. 1 of them has this dementia, and while he/she can hear what the others are saying, still has a perfectly fine grasp on the language, and is able to respond back with their own words, there was no actual attempt to meaningfully think about and appreciate the others' words and ideas. They're not mentally capable of it any more. Every response is just regurgitating their memories or their positions based on their memories, with no give, no capacity or tolerance for any new information. It legit angers them to hear anything that doesn't fit into their now permanently fixed understanding of things, it irritates all their neurons. It's like a wrestler 'going into business for himself' - they aren't interested in a cooperative dance to tell a nice story, all they want to do is 'get their shit in' (do their signature moves) and get the pin, no interest in putting on a good match. Except the wrestler chooses to do it, the dementia boomer literally physically CAN'T NOT do it. The partner of the dementia boomer knows this and tries, successfully or unsuccessfully, to smooth the conversation out to hide this from the other boomer couple.

Imagine a lunch get-together of 4 boomers, 2 couples. From afar, or in a quick snapshot it looks like they're all they're chatting, catching up, sharing what new crazy things they've read about in the media or that their children or grandchildren have shown them. On the surface, nothing is wrong.

But in this case, only 3 of them are actually engaing in this way. 1 of them has this dementia, and while he/she can hear what the others are saying, still has a perfectly fine grasp on the language, and is able to respond back with their own words, there was no actual attempt to meaningfully think about and appreciate the others' words and ideas. They're not mentally capable of it any more. Every response is just regurgitating their memories or their positions based on their memories, with no give, no capacity or tolerance for any new information. It legit angers them to hear anything that doesn't fit into their now permanently fixed understanding of things, it irritates all their neurons. It's like a wrestler 'going into business for himself' - they aren't interested in a cooperative dance to tell a nice story, all they want to do is 'get their shit in' (do their signature moves) and get the pin, no interest in putting on a good match. Except the wrestler chooses to do it, the dementia boomer literally physically CAN'T NOT do it. The partner of the dementia boomer knows this and tries, successfully or unsuccessfully, to smooth the conversation out to hide this from the other boomer couple.

Imagine a lunch get-together of 4 boomers, 2 couples. From afar, or in a quick snapshot it looks like they're all they're chatting, catching up, sharing what new crazy things they've read about in the media or that their children or grandchildren have shown them. On the surface, nothing is wrong.

But in this case, only 3 of them are actually engaing in this way. 1 of them has this dementia, and while he/she can hear what the others are saying, still has a perfectly fine grasp on the language, and is able to respond back with their own words, there was no actual attempt to meaningfully think about and appreciate the others' words and ideas. They're not mentally capable of it any more. Every response is just regurgitating their memories or their positions based on their memories, with no give, no capacity or tolerance for any new information. It legit angers them to hear anything that doesn't fit into their now permanently fixed understanding of things, it irritates all their neurons. It's like a wrestler 'going into business for himself' - they aren't interested in a cooperative dance to tell a nice story, all they want to do is 'get their shit in' (do their signature moves) and get the pin, no interest in putting on a good match. Except the wrestler chooses to do it, the dementia boomer literally physically CAN'T NOT do it. The partner of the dementia boomer knows this and tries, successfully or unsuccessfully, to smooth the conversation out to hide this from the other boomer couple.