>>529720501
According to my mom
>be a good baby
>be outgoing and have leadership qualities
>people tried to fuck with me a lot though but she'd take me somewhere else
And then ffwd to school age
>do the same thing, but autistically
>considered annoying
>get picked on
>cry loudly
>parents get called to pick me up and I get suspended
>mom: get grounded until dad comes home
>dad gets home: whooping
>more crying
>more whooping
>repeat any time I'm around anyone my age until 5th grade
>most uncles and aunts didn't really give a shit
>grandparents on mother's side didn't speak out against parents but were gentle and understanding
>multiple shit scenarios happen before I even reach middle school
>watch grandpa go into a coma, get scared at hospital visit, he dies
>tell my homeroom as explanation, "so anyways"
>house he built for my mom burns down
>see previous
>tell my mom I don't wanna live anymore before I even turn 10
>stopped crying at 4th grade but the bullying continued into middle school
>obvious retaliatory fighting once another guy got physical
>hs a haze of nothingness
>not even disliked, just ignored, literally start of shb ardbert shadow shit
>just so tired
>body starts shitting itself, slowly miss more days and then stop going altogether from a crash out
>covid happens
>doesn't affect me
>covid ends
>grandma passes
>one "friend" I made in xiv tells me to stop moping while I'm grieving, cut him off
>at this point barely ever leave home
>one aunt who understood me passes
>uncle not much later
>ffwd now
>sitting here typing this out
>I'm not even 25 yet
I know I'm insufferable and posting a fucking blog but I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired.