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ID: Bw7dNDPE/pol/507942309#507943387
6/19/2025, 6:36:41 AM
Pt 3.
I voted pineapple to feel popular and pretend even I didnt want to be loved or at peace if I decide I want to try and grow again, but sometimes trying to grow is like throwing a party and only your cousin shows up with stale chips because asian bot gangs saturate your social media.
By minute 15, I was replying to myself: “Great point, me!”; “Wow, so true king, maybe if I start writing poetry again and Swift responds on the radio again, I won’t have another crazy random follow me into the pawn store, see me looking for a ratchet socket I need, and scream to the whole store loudly ‘who does he think he is, King Socket?’" (that actually happened in real life).
I checked OP’s profile—dude’s got 12 followers and a bio that says “Swiftie 4 Life.” No shade, but maybe he’s too busy ranking Folklore B-sides to notice this thread’s a ghost town. I bet he’s crying to “All Too Well” while ignoring my gourmet placement discourse. Rude.
Minute 20, I started live-tweeting my descent into madness. “Day 47 in the thread: I’ve named the tumbleweed Carl.” Still nada. I even tried baiting engagement with “RT if you hate Mondays!”—cringe, I know, but desperation’s a hell of a drug.
I voted pineapple to feel popular and pretend even I didnt want to be loved or at peace if I decide I want to try and grow again, but sometimes trying to grow is like throwing a party and only your cousin shows up with stale chips because asian bot gangs saturate your social media.
By minute 15, I was replying to myself: “Great point, me!”; “Wow, so true king, maybe if I start writing poetry again and Swift responds on the radio again, I won’t have another crazy random follow me into the pawn store, see me looking for a ratchet socket I need, and scream to the whole store loudly ‘who does he think he is, King Socket?’" (that actually happened in real life).
I checked OP’s profile—dude’s got 12 followers and a bio that says “Swiftie 4 Life.” No shade, but maybe he’s too busy ranking Folklore B-sides to notice this thread’s a ghost town. I bet he’s crying to “All Too Well” while ignoring my gourmet placement discourse. Rude.
Minute 20, I started live-tweeting my descent into madness. “Day 47 in the thread: I’ve named the tumbleweed Carl.” Still nada. I even tried baiting engagement with “RT if you hate Mondays!”—cringe, I know, but desperation’s a hell of a drug.
ID: MuihbbzR/pol/507936804#507940390
6/19/2025, 5:56:15 AM
I checked OP’s profile—dude’s got 12 followers and a bio that says “Swiftie 4 Life.” No shade, but maybe he’s too busy ranking Folklore B-sides to notice this thread’s a ghost town. I bet he’s crying to “All Too Well” while ignoring my gourmet placement discourse. Rude.
Minute 20, I started live-tweeting my descent into madness. “Day 47 in the thread: I’ve named the tumbleweed Carl.” Still nada. I even tried baiting engagement with “RT if you hate Mondays!”—cringe, I know, but desperation’s a hell of a drug.
By minute 25, I was googling “how to summon internet strangers who like to code twiter API and write micro-love-poetry on fully anonymous alts" Spoiler: incense and vibes don’t work.
Now, at minute 45, I’m questioning my life choices.
Why am I here? Why is pineapple so divisive?
Why does OP love Taylor Swift more than thread etiquette? Why hasn’t Lara blocked me yet? I’m this close to DMing OP, “Close the thread, you Lover-stan!” But knowing my luck, he’s probably offline, sipping overpriced coffee, planning a Swift-themed wedding.
I could leave, but it’s personal now. This thread is my Everest. I’m gonna keep posting—memes, rants, maybe a recipe for pineapple pizza or a DIY Chiefs buttplug (kidding, Pentagon, don’t @ me). If nobody shows up, fine. I’ll be the lone placement prophet, preaching to the void. But if OP or Lara ever come back, I’m billing them for my therapy. And a pizza. With extra pineapple. Hell, maybe I’ll throw in a manifesto about why pineapple is the unsung hero of pizza toppings, and how the haters are just cowards who can’t handle a little sweet-and-savory chaos in their boring cheese-and-pepperoni lives.
Yours in solitude,
The Thread Hermit
Minute 20, I started live-tweeting my descent into madness. “Day 47 in the thread: I’ve named the tumbleweed Carl.” Still nada. I even tried baiting engagement with “RT if you hate Mondays!”—cringe, I know, but desperation’s a hell of a drug.
By minute 25, I was googling “how to summon internet strangers who like to code twiter API and write micro-love-poetry on fully anonymous alts" Spoiler: incense and vibes don’t work.
Now, at minute 45, I’m questioning my life choices.
Why am I here? Why is pineapple so divisive?
Why does OP love Taylor Swift more than thread etiquette? Why hasn’t Lara blocked me yet? I’m this close to DMing OP, “Close the thread, you Lover-stan!” But knowing my luck, he’s probably offline, sipping overpriced coffee, planning a Swift-themed wedding.
I could leave, but it’s personal now. This thread is my Everest. I’m gonna keep posting—memes, rants, maybe a recipe for pineapple pizza or a DIY Chiefs buttplug (kidding, Pentagon, don’t @ me). If nobody shows up, fine. I’ll be the lone placement prophet, preaching to the void. But if OP or Lara ever come back, I’m billing them for my therapy. And a pizza. With extra pineapple. Hell, maybe I’ll throw in a manifesto about why pineapple is the unsung hero of pizza toppings, and how the haters are just cowards who can’t handle a little sweet-and-savory chaos in their boring cheese-and-pepperoni lives.
Yours in solitude,
The Thread Hermit
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