Here’s the situation: You’re married. At some point, your wife tells you — not negotiable — that she’ll never do anal sex with you again. That’s it. Doesn’t matter if it was part of the sexual repertoire before, or even a stated expectation. She’s just “not into it anymore.”

So, at what point has she broken the marriage pact? Isn’t part of the deal of marriage supposed to be sexual access, within reason? (Don’t start with the “just be happy with what you get” cope; there’s always a line somewhere.)

Divorce is not an option you want: it’s financially and emotionally devastating for both sides and the kids. You still care about your wife, you still want to stay married, but you’re now permanently sexually frustrated because she unilaterally changed the rules.

So, why is cheating the less immoral option here? Is it really more unethical to quietly fulfill your needs elsewhere (with zero intention to get caught, no desire to destroy the family), than to start the slow death spiral of resentment or to blow everything up via divorce? What’s the actual moral infraction here — the infidelity, or the breach of contract?

Is there any honest, non-feelgood answer to this? If you’re being denied, is cheating not the rational path?

Let’s hear the philosophical takes. No moral grandstanding, please — you’d do it too if you were honest.