I feel so alone it isn’t even funny. I have no group to belong to, no friends I can truly open up to. I don’t fit in with almost anyone in California because of politics, and have no ability to move. I ghosted both of my families due to abuse and trust, so I don’t have any relations to lean on. I don’t fit in with my fiancée’s family religiously, culturally, or racially. I’m white enough that no other group wants anything to do with me, and thanks to my dad’s poor choice in women I’m probably not even white enough to be a white nationalist. I have absolutely no talents that would merit entrance into interest groups - I’m not an artist, I’m not a musician, I can’t dance or sing, I can’t write anything anyone would want to read and I can’t cook anything anyone would want to eat. I’m not experienced in anything, and have no advice anyone would find useful. I’m not a gambler, not a photographer or adventurer. I’m not fit, I’m not good at games, I’m not social, I don’t cheat or do drugs, I’m not rich enough to be a voice in any hobby. I’m not good enough at electronics or programming to do anything a thousand people haven’t already done, and I’m not trustworthy enough for any good company to pay me to do it anyway. I’m not hardworking or kind, I’m not a criminal, I’m not part of anything. I honestly even feel alone in my relationship - I don’t feel like she shares many if any of my interests, I feel like a kid bugging his mom any time I bring any of them up. I’m selfish but I don’t know how to accept that, and if she vehemently denied it I don’t know how I wouldn’t think she was just trying to appease me. I have no group or place in this world that I feel I truly belong in, and I don’t know how to trust almost anything anyone would say to the contrary and I feel so fucking utterly alone I can hardly stand it.