I went to a bar at around midnight and asked for the price of a shot of vodka, since local supermarkets were closed and stop selling alcohol at 10pm, anyway. My plan was simply to neck a shot or two and immediately leave.

I was denied service in the most grandfatherly and condescending way possible; the barkeeper told me I was too drunk for him to possibly serve me a drink. (I had had half a bottle of wine.) He also informed me of my entire extended family he knew (I have never seen this man before in my life) and how we would tell them that I was being naughty.

I went to another bar minutes later, and asked if they were open. I was told no. I inquired it if was by law or because of their local closing time, and they said it was their closing time. I concluded that the first bar denied me because it was their closing time, and the owner just decided to big dig me by pretending he had some kind of shot-calling authority over who can and cannot be his customers. I had been perfectly polite in asking him the price of a drink.

Now, logically, I should just not go back to that first bar. However, I am a very petty person. If the barkeeper had simply told me it was past serving time, I would not have taken it personally; but the big dog attitude really rubbed me the wrong way. The insinuation that he would tattle tale to my great aunt or whoever the fuck ever he harvested turnips or moved a piano for was also really contemptible to me. I would like to make his life more difficult. How should I do this?

My basic plan is to just show up in his bar every day for a week, sitting directly across from him at the bar, ordering sparkling water, and asking his gray mustached ass why he is still serving drinks and polishing glasses at his age, and maybe asking him how much tail he pulls.