i've never been able to eat big meals and eating is almost never a joyful occasion

sometimes even fresh, hot, palatable meals end up feeling & looking to me like how they make it look in those scam infomercials halfway through eating it then i have to put it away
finishing it later is also an issue since i also have a huge problem eating leftovers. it just feels like the food is tainted and wrong.

i almost never cook for myself and most days will simply ignore my hunger until it's become beyond a problem. then i will climb into my car and drive somewhere with really low blood sugar and order some slop that is nutritionally never what my body needs.