bros... I've been in a daily masturbation vortex for like two months. I can barely even remember what it was like to be my true self. I'm such a zombie right now. I think back to how I was when I had two back-to-back month long streaks, back in spring, and I don't even recognize that person. He was motivated and happy and driven. I'm rotting away.
Willpower is a muscle and mine has atrophied. I don't know if I can pull myself out of this. I keep having fleeting moments of clarity like this that last for maybe a day at most, and then I fall back in. I'm drowning. When I was retaining I had everything I needed. I threw it all away for nothing.