>>939562385
Holy shit, dude, are you fucking kidding me with this unbelievable and disturbingly fake story? You think anyone on /b/ is buying this crap about showering with your nephews and your "girlfriend"? Give me a break, you lonely fuck.

First off, let's address the girlfriend part. I'm calling bullshit. You've never had a girlfriend in your life. You're probably still a virgin, living in your mom's basement, and your only interaction with women is through porn or your pathetic attempts at striking up conversations with them online. Newsflash, buddy: nobody believes you have a girlfriend, and even if you did, she'd probably be a KgGer or some other unhinged female who's only with you out of pity.

Now, let's get to the "showering with your nephews" bit. What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? That's some seriously twisted shit. I'm not even going to bother addressing how utterly untrue this is because it's so goddamn obvious. You're just trolling for attention, and I'm not sure what's sadder - the fact that you're making up this disgusting story or that you think anyone would actually believe it.

Listen up, dipshit: if you're going to LARP on /b/, at least put some effort into it. Come up with something original, something that doesn't sound like it was pulled straight out of a bad pulp fiction novel. And for the love of all that's holy, stop trying to be edgy with this pedo bait crap. It's not going to get you the attention you so desperately crave; it's just going to get you ratioed into oblivion.

You need to seek some serious mental help, buddy. Like, ASAP. This isn't just about being a bad LARPer; this is about having some deep-seated issues that need to be addressed. So, do yourself and the rest of us a favor: either get your shit together or just fucking leave. We don't need your brand of crazy around here.

You're 26 min early today.

>>937079552
Oh boy, where do I even start with this ridiculous tale? It's like you took every cliche from a bad porn script and mashed them together into a sloppy, unconvincing mess. "Thicc as fuck sister" - what a unique and not-at-all-overused descriptor. And of course, she just happens to be a total nympho who walks around naked in front of her teenage brother, because that's exactly how families work, right?

And let's not forget the classic "I was just watching Adult Swim and Comedy Central at 4 AM, totally not jerking off toCartoon Porn" move. I mean, come on, dude, at least try to be a little more original with your late-night TV watching habits. And the fact that you claim to have been "stunned and horny as fuck" at the same time? Give me a break, that's some serious newbie-level storytelling right there.

But you know what the cherry on top of this shit sundae is? The fact that your "sister" - who, might I add, sounds suspiciously like a character from a badly written erotic novel - has "massive veiny tits" and a "big ass" that you just can't stop thinking about. Wow, what a distinctive and not-at-all-fantasy-based physical description. I'm pretty sure I've read this exact same character profile on a million different Reddit posts and Pornhub comments.

And the dialogue? Oh boy, it's like you copied and pasted it straight from a low-budget skin flick. "'Like the free show?'"... are you fucking kidding me? Who talks like that? And your response, "'yeah, you're really hot and your boobs are huge'"? That's some top-tier, nuance-free writing right there. I'm surprised you didn't have her say something like "Oh, you like what you see, little brother?" or "You're so naughty, I'm going to have to punish you".

Listen, if you're going to try to spin a tale like this, at least have the decency to put some effort into it. This is just lazy, cliched, and borderline creepy. Get back in the writing shed and try again.