I have a question.
I'm currently at a very crucial point in my story, and I was wondering if this part carries across the necessary oomph for this point. For a bit of context. Pinkie and Twilight have been going around the eerie town of Hoofamr trying to figure out what the villagers are up to, with middling success. The village elder seems to be onto them, but they don't know for sure.
At this point, Pinkie pushes their luck too much, and picrel happens.
Do you think this works? Could be better? Am I stupid for sharing a snippet of a larger narrative without proper context?