I have some friends. But I don't talk to them too much. They invite me to do stuff with them, or just chat on discord. Literally the only server I belong to. But I usually can't because there's always something that's stopping me from doing it, most of the times bad timing. Or maybe bad luck. And when that's not the case, when I could perfectly say yes, I can't because of self sabotage. There's something extremely wrong with me, i don't know how to change it, and I should be more grateful because finding new friends is difficult. It's strange that they don't forget about me, and I don't feel like it's because they feel sorry for me because many times they aren't forced to consider me in something and yet they do it anyway. I could lose them, I don't want that