It's okay to just stare off into the distance and not do anything for 30 minutes, right? Whenever I read about relaxing it always mentions activities. I don't want to do an activity, I'm trying to not think for a few seconds. My entire life outside work is obsessing over hobbies like they're a checklist, adding even more activities to that list is defeating the point. "Oh just put on some music", great now I'm thinking about the music and the history of the musician and the things that music appeared in and my thoughts are all over the place again. You know at this moment in time I'm in the middle of two video games, three anime, a novel, a visual novel, and an audiobook? Don't get me started on my YouTube Watch Later, I've tried to ban myself from that site and haven't used it in two weeks. I've just been opening and closing my browser for the past few minutes between random games of Solitaire, there's things I could "do" but that's not the point. I want to NOT do, yet "not doing anything" does involve "doing" things. I WANT to NOT do. But I CAN'T NOT do, see? I have a couple of hours to myself after work, I MUST DO even if I DON'T WANT to DO. Get it? If I DON'T DO then all I DO is WORK. Jesus wept I'm going to burn out hardcore at some point and I don't even do much, that's the funny thing. I need to ban factoids, they've ruined my life.