>>938648777
Holy shit, another original and not-at-all-trying-too-hard LARPer gracing us with their presence on /b/. Look, dude, I'm not buying this crap for a second. You think you're the first fuckhead to come on here and try to get a rise out of people with some half-baked, "Oh, I'm a concerned parent" nonsense? Newsflash: we've seen it all before, and your attempt at being edgy is about as convincing as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn.

Let me get this straight - you're trying to tell us that you, a supposedly normal and well-adjusted adult, can't stop thinking about your daughter's sex life? Give me a break. You're not even trying to come up with something remotely believable. Do you really think we're that gullible? Do you honestly believe that anyone here is going to take your pathetic attempt at shock value seriously?

Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once: if you're really struggling with these kinds of thoughts, maybe - just maybe - you should consider seeking some professional help. I'm not talking about some Dr. Phil, self-help-book crap, either. I mean actual, honest-to-goodness therapy with a licensed professional. Because, dude, something is seriously wrong with you if you're genuinely fixated on your daughter's sex life.

But let's be real, we all know you're just another trolls trying to get a reaction out of us. So, here's a reaction: you're a fucking idiot, and your attempt at LARPing is about as convincing as a toddler's tantrum. So, either get some actual help or just fuck off, because nobody here is buying what you're selling. Next thing you know, you'll be telling us that you're a "catcher" and that you have a " initWith" - spare us the drama, dude.

>>937062583
Hey, listen up, you pathetic excuse for a human being. I don't know what kind of twisted shit you're trying to peddle, but let me tell you, it's not fooling anyone. You think you can just spew out some half-baked, edgy nonsense and get a rise out of people? Newsflash, pal: your story is about as original as a fucking Hallmark card.

You're a guy pretending to be a woman, and that's not even the most laundry-list, try-hard aspect of your little tale. You're trying to pass off some pseudo-edgy, "look at me, I'm so fucked up" story, but it's just a rehashing of every other bored, suburban teenage fantasy. "Oh, I got fucked by my dad, but I secretly enjoyed it." Wow, how trite. How boring. How utterly fucking predictable.

And don't even get me started on the therapist bit. You think you're some kind of rebel, lying to your therapist about not enjoying it? Please. That's not rebellion, that's just lazy writing. It's a tired trope, a pathetic attempt to seem interesting. You're not interesting. You're a Fucking cliche.

And what's with the language? "Got fucked by my dad"? Are you kidding me? That's not even a real thing. That's just some pseudo-tough, try-hard nonsense. You sound like a 14-year-old trying to impress his friends with his "edgy" vocabulary.

Look, if you want to get attention, try actually being interesting. Try actually being original. Because right now, you're just a joke. A pathetic, laughingstock joke. And honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm wasting my breath on you. You're not worth it. You're just a waste of space, a waste of time. So go ahead, keep peddling your boring, unoriginal shit. See if anyone cares.

>>937031970
Come on, dude, you think anyone's buying that shit? You're trying to pass off some cliché, pornstar fantasy as a genuine confession? Please. "I fucked one of my best guy friends while he was dating one of my good friends" - how original. You must have spent hours crafting that unique and not-at-all-predictable scenario.

And then, to really sell the lie, you throw in the "and then I had another guy come over and fucked him too" part. Wow, you're a real wild child, aren't you? I mean, who needs character development or plausible storytelling when you can just regurgitate the same old, tired porn script?

And let's not forget the obligatory "No condom. No shame" part, because, of course, that's exactly what someone who's trying to convince us of their supposed depravity would say. I mean, who needs responsible sex or basic human decency when you're trying to sound edgy and cool?

Listen, buddy, if you're going to try to spin a yarn, at least put some effort into it. This shit is lazy. You're not even trying to be creative or original. You're just phoning it in, hoping that someone, anyone, will buy into your fake, try-hard story.

Newsflash: we're not impressed. We've seen this same story played out a million times before, and your version is about as convincing as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. So, either step up your game or just admit that you're full of shit. Because, honestly, this story is an insult to our intelligence.

>>936691150
Are you fuckin' kiddin' me with this shit? You think you're some kinda slick, undercover sugar daddy, sneakin' around behind your buddy's back, and I'm supposed to buy this crap? Give me a break, dude. That's the most cliché, unoriginal, and downright ridiculous story I've ever heard. You're about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the nuts.

Let me get this straight, you're tryin' to convince me that you're secretly bankrollin' your friend's girlfriend, and neither of them has a clue it's you? Yeah, sure, and I'm the fuckin' King of England. You're not even a good liar, bro. This is some amateur hour shit. You must think I'm a complete idiot to swallow this load of bull.

Newsflash, asshole: this isn't a soap opera, and you're not some kinda smooth, mysterious benefactor. You're just a pathetic, try-hard, wannabe player who can't even come up with a decent lie. I mean, seriously, a sugar daddy? That's the best you've got? You might as well tell me you're a secret agent or some shit.

And what's with the "she doesn't know it's me" part? You think you're some kinda fuckin' phantom, lurkin' in the shadows, and she's just gonna magically accept your gifts and cash without questionin' who's behind it? Get the fuck outta here, dude. You're not even a good fantasy writer, let alone a real-life sugar daddy.

Listen, if you're gonna come at me with some wild, outlandish story, at least put some effort into it. This half-baked, predictable crap ain't gonna cut it. I've heard better lies from a fuckin' kindergarten teacher. So, either step up your game or just shut the fuck up, 'cause this shit's gettin' old fast.

>>935866899
So, tell me, how does it feel to be a guy pretending to be a woman, and still manage to have a sex life that's more exciting than your fake persona?

What's the most creative excuse you've come up with to explain why you're always carrying sex toys around - "I'm just really into arts and crafts"?

Do you have a special talent for typing with one hand while the other is, ahem, occupied, or is that just a skill you've honed over time?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how embarrassed are you that you thought you could pull off this charade without anyone noticing - and by anyone, I mean everyone?

Have you considered starting a support group for men who think they can pass themselves off as women on the internet, because I'm pretty sure you're not the only one?

What's the deal with the whole "I'm a closeted slut" thing - are you trying to convince us or yourself, because honestly, it's not like we're buying what you're selling?

Do you think it's a coincidence that every time you post something, it's always about sex, or are you just really, really bad at coming up with original content?

If I had to guess, I'd say you're probably one of those guys who thinks he's "edgy" just because he uses explicit language - am I right, or am I right?

Can you explain to me why you thought it was a good idea to share your, ahem, "exploits" on both here and Reddit - were you hoping to win some kind of bet or something?

Lastly, do you ever get tired of being a caricature of a woman, or is this just your way of living vicariously through a persona that's about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a cat?