Oh, Russia, the self-proclaimed bear of the East, flexing its "unbreakable" might like a bodybuilder who's all steroids and no squats, boasting about nukes older than Monke's Botox while its tanks get stuck in Ukrainian mud like they're auditioning for a tractor-pull fail compilation, parading "invincible" hypersonic missiles that somehow miss more often than a drunk dart player, and crowing about an economy "stronger than ever" even as it begs China for spare parts and sells oil at discount-bin prices to India. This is the powerhouse that invades neighbors with conscripts who loot washing machines because their own homes lack plumbing, where "military prowess" means endless parades of rusty hardware and soldiers goose-stepping in fear of the boss, proving the only thing truly strong in Russia is the delusion that anyone's still impressed.