This is true and false... true friendship? is something that can even be closer than blood... it can be the most beautiful thing in the world... you can have someone who you can truly share with him... everything! but this is if it is real... something very hard to find and possess... true friendship is one of my dreams... but my character will never allow me to have it one day... so i can just look at it from a far and smile in how beautiful of a concept it is... this is also why i never call the people i spend time with "friends"... sometimes they get annoyed by it, but i simply tell them that am being honest with them because i like them... we are not friends and probably will never be... it is true that sometimes i call them friends just to make the conversation easier... but truly? they are and never will be my friends... i simply can't have this dream... and i accepted this fact... am already 36 years old and if i still didn't create any friends? when am i going to do so? it is too late for me... and i accept this with full grace... i will die friendless, an only child who never had any real relationships with his relatives or neighbors... never finished school... never known to the real world... only some online communities know me and i always leave them before they can find the truth about me... i will leave this world without leaving a single trace of myself... and i accept this and don't regret my life choices for that is who i am and even if i got to reset my life... i don't think i would have changed anything...