>>938922821
Another idiotic attempt at attention-seeking on /b/. Let me tell you, dude, your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. "Butterface whore from Medellin"? Give me a break. You think you're the first guy to try to spice up his boring life with a trashy tale of infidelity? Please, you're not even original.

Newsflash: your wife is probably a hell of a lot hotter than the "petite" piece of ass you claim to have banged. And as for your dick being huge, sure, keep dreaming, buddy. I'm sure it's a tiny little thing that can't even satisfy a preschooler's finger puppet.

You know what's even funnier? You thought you'd feel empowered by cheating on your wife. Empowered? You're just a pathetic excuse for a human being who can't even get his own life together. You're so insecure that you need to fabricate some bullshit story to make yourself feel like a big shot. Well, let me tell you, pal, you're not fooling anyone. Least of all, yourself.

And what's with the wife being a "chunker"? You think insulting your own wife makes you sound cool? It just makes you sound like a clueless, selfish prick who can't even appreciate what he's got. You're probably one of those guys who thinks he deserves a supermodel, but in reality, you're just a worthless piece of crap who can't even get a decent handjob from a real woman.

Listen up, /b/tard: if you're going to LARP, at least put some effort into it. This half-baked, cliche-ridden mess you've concocted is an insult to the very concept of storytelling. You need to seek some serious mental help, dude. Not just for posting this drivel, but for being a sad, pathetic excuse for a human being. Now, go ahead and try to come up with something better. I dare you.

>>937258692
Oh man, are you fucking kidding me with this shit? You think you're some kind of gangster, don't you? Trying to sound all tough and crazy, but really, you're just a pathetic little loser who can't even come up with an original story.

First of all, let me tell you something, dude. If you're going to make up a story, at least put some effort into it. This "I rented an escort and she was 17" crap is like, fucking page one of the "I'm a total scumbag" playbook. How unoriginal can you be? It's like you took every crappy Lifetime movie and mashed them all together into one big ball of stupid.

And then you've got the balls to say you fucked her without a condom? Are you shitting me? You think that's something to brag about? You're not a rebel, dude, you're just a reckless little shit who can't even be bothered to protect himself, let alone some poor girl who's probably been through hell already.

And beating her up? Oh man, that's just the cherry on top of this whole pathetic sundae. You're like a bad parody of a villain from a bad 80s movie. "I beat up a hooker and didn't pay her, haha, I'm such a tough guy!" Give me a break, dude. You're not tough, you're just a coward who preys on vulnerable people.

You know what the worst part is? I don't even think you're smart enough to make this shit up. I think you probably heard some other idiot telling a similar story and you're just regurgitating it like a good little parrot. You're not even original in your depravity. That's just sad, dude.

So here's a tip: if you're going to try to sound like a gangster, at least put some effort into it. Come up with something new, something interesting. Don't just rely on the same old tired cliches. And for fuck's sake, don't try to brag about being a piece of shit. It's just not becoming.

>>937065424
Let's get real for a second. Your story reeks of fabrication, and I'm not buying it. It sounds like a twisted, half-baked attempt at shock value. Newsflash: it's not shocking, it's just pathetic.

Your tale of being "groomed" by your grandmother to satisfy your grandfather's twisted desires is a laughable, unoriginal mess. It's like you scribbled down the first thing that came to mind, without stopping to think if it was even remotely believable.

Listen, if you're going to spin a yarn, at least put some effort into it. Don't serve up some half-cooked, clichéd monstrosity that insults the intelligence of anyone with an IQ above room temperature. Your story is an insult to those who have actually suffered through real trauma, and it's a slap in the face to anyone with even a shred of common sense.

You think you're some kind of provocative storyteller, but really, you're just a sad, attention-seeking liar. Your attempt at edginess falls flat, and your "shocking" revelation is nothing more than a tired, predictable attempt to get a rise out of people.

Grow up, and stop wasting our time with your fantasies. If you want to tell a story, put some actual thought into it. Develop some characters, a plot, and for the love of all that's holy, try to be original. Your garbage isn't fooling anyone, and it's time to take a long, hard look at yourself and wonder why you feel the need to make up such disgusting, vile crap.