i just want a funn y guy to play games with. sigh

how do i make sure i will be reincarnated as a white person after i kill myself

i dont think people truly understand how painful it is to be loved temporarily. he loved me, but only for a short while. and then suddenly everything was over not because of something i did, but because he got flashbacks of his ex.
do you know how fucking helpless that feels? like i was just a detour he took while still emotionally driving toward someone else? he didnt even try to deal with it. he didnt even try to heal. he just let it eat away at whatever we had until it fell apart and im the one picking up the pieces of something that COULDVE WORKED if he just tried. if he just stayed. if he just chose me. i hate that i still think about what we couldve been. i hate that this hurts so much.