>crush
With my current understanding if the occult as an adult; were not crushes just succubi daemon archons feeding off of youthful life's "first loves" (reincarnation lmao dunno how that works) but young me was just getting farmed astrally. Even if now she is sleeping with another man, I was never enarmored or in love with her, a crush is lust. A crush is a succubu archin that wastes thought, and rarely brings it to reality successfully. Crushes are your ego cucking itself out of valuable time.