>>40931683
you have an avoidant attachment, i know because im one too
your brain makes up a bunch of excuses to self sabotage (you don't really love her, you don't deserve her, wanting to date the other gender, fomo, etc.) because deep down you're empty and you have zero self-esteem because your caretakers didn't love you right
talk to her, educate yourself and therapy
i'm going to be honest it's a constant battle but try not to give in to the intrusive thoughts, you're worth it and you deserve love no matter what your brain tells you