Why? Are you gonna make me a psychic too? His eyes widen, and a serious expression replaces his grin. Wait, are you for real?

"Last night, I received a premonition. A vision from the Earth. A great being of destruction is fated to arrive here sometime soon, and the entire planet is at risk of being eliminated. Your friends and family, all gone. The vision went on to tell me that I would help stop it, but I would not be alone. I would have... an associate."

And that's me?

"It has to be. I was drawn here by some force that I could not recognize, but now I see that it was your psychic potential. You may not have discovered your powers as a child, but you can still awaken them now."

Wait, wait. So if I accept, I'll get for real psychic powers?

"Yes."

Like what? Mind reading like you? He shrugs.

"I have no idea. As far as I know, I'm the only one who can read people's minds, which is a passive ability, mind you. I can't control when I read people's thoughts. But whatever powers you get, I'm sure they'll be great."

Is it possible to get a really shitty psychic power? He gives you an awkward smile.

"Well... sure, I guess, technically."

Have you seen someone with a ridiculous power?

"Oh, sure. I knew this guy who could vomit fish at will. It was so strange, but really fascinating... uh, but don't let that discourage you." Right.

What would I even do as your partner?

"Associate," he corrects. "You would train with me as we prepare to face whatever threat is in store for us." Shit, you almost forgot about that last part.

So, this would be... dangerous?

"Unfortunately, yes. But when we get you trained, I bet there's nothing we can't handle."

That's not very reassuring... whatever, I'll do it.

"Really?"

The way I see it, I'm either dying broke on the streets or ripped apart by this destructive being or whatever. Both ways I'm dead. But this way I get powers. Hopefully not throwing-up-a-fish powers. He smiles. This one looks more earnest than amused.

"I'm glad. Alright, do you want to start now, or?"

What, training? I'm at work. He shakes his head.

"No, silly. Awakening your powers."

Oh. Can I do that here? How does that work?

"Well, essentially you are not on the same wavelength as the Earth. If I manipulate your energy, I should be able to connect you to the Earth's frequency. That should evoke your hidden powers."

Is it gonna hurt?

"A little."

...Okay.