>>81723392
I understand where you're coming from. I tried to be the best of the best overall when I was younger. I tried to improve myself and I looked the best I ever was and received a lot of attention. But I wasn't happy. And that's because I was trying to be the best--not for myself--but for the validation of others. But the thing is no one gives a shit about you if you don't give a shit about yourself.
I'm still trying to accept that fact after a lifetime of only caring about what others thought of me, but now I am working towards a life that I wish to have.