[SUPERHACKER KNOWN AS 4CHAN ANON MISSION LOG !!CLASSIFIED!!]

03:41: Pathetic... Reddit needs our help again. They missed the "not your personal army" memo. Blue pilled beyond belief.

03:41: Manually lower my heartrate to 40 BPM. The perfect combat state. Every neuron overclocked to 5.2GHz. My mind is the compiler; my thoughts, the machine code.

03:42: I slip into the net like smoke through a keyhole. No VPN, no proxy. I am the protocol. TCP/IP bows in my presence.

03:43: Target locked. Some wannabe hacker in an Eastern European basement, thinking his 4090 and pirated Kali ISO make him a threat. Pathetic. I load my weapon: a personally coded zero-day so pure, so elegant, it was written entirely in pure thought during a lucid dream.

03:44: "Heh... nothing personnel, kid," I whisper into the digital wind. My payload travels not through fiber, but through intention. The very idea of his server is deleted.

03:45: I hear him scream, not through speakers, but through the ethernet itself. His packets flee like rats. Somewhere, a router cries.

03:46: Reddit tries to thank me. I block their email domain at the backbone. Respect must be earned.

03:47: I lean back. My mechanical keyboard smokes gently from the friction of god-tier keystrokes. Somewhere, the NSA updates my file under "do not engage."

03:49: I vanish into the darknet, leaving only a ping timeout and a half-remembered legend. Tomorrow, the war begins again.