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The men responsible for effecting MDE executions have seen it all. Or have they? From Jet Neptune’s demonic homily to Frank Hassel’s sudden transformation to a Born-Again Christian, GITMO hangings have been replete with unexpected twist endings and theatricality. And a bloated Sam Hyde, who was hanged there Wednesday morning, expanded that tradition with an outburst both comedic and acrimonious.

Somehow a handcuffed Sam had writhed his prison pants and underwear down to his ankles while being driven from jail to the execution site. He appeared from the Humvee half-naked, exposing himself to Judge Jedidiah Goldstriker.

“OOOH OOOH I'M A BIG GORILLA,” Sam shouted, sweat dripping from his flabby jowl. “How do you like me now, judge? And F*** you, Harland. I made you famous.”

Harland Williams was not present.

Before addressing Sam, the judge publicly reprimanded the chaperones, demanding to know how Sam's disrobement had gone unnoticed and why both soldiers were seated up front. He called it a dereliction of duty and a violation of standard operating procedures. He commanded the soldier who had been riding shotgun to pull up Sam’s pants.

By that time, though, Sam was lying prone on a damp patch of grass, squirming around.

“Marky Thompson. Tight and ripe. Don’t think I wasn’t tapping that,” Sam said, and began humping the ground.

“Tase him now,” the judge barked.

“We should just put a bullet in his brain,” an officer present said.

“Not procedure,” he replied.

The soldiers who had driven Sam to the gallows unholstered their tasers, then fired the small, barbed darts at Sam’s exposed skin. He trembled a moment but seemed otherwise unharmed. The soldiers helped him atop the platform where another soldier fitted him with a rope necklace.

The rest of the event went as planned. Sam, shaken but conscious, offered no resistance as they gave the “execute” command.

Sam was pronounced dead at 10:15 a.m. Wednesday morning.