"Citizens of Zeon, listen up fr fr. No cap, the Earth Federation been acting mad sus lately. They got zero drip, negative rizz, and their mobile suits? Straight-up skibidi toilet tier. I’m talking toilet bowl thrusters, bro.

Now me? I’m built different. I pull up in my custom Zaku with the white mask and gold trim, looking like the final boss of a TikTok ARG. I got that giga rizz. I don’t pilot—I vibe. I don’t fight—I ratio. And when I enter the battlefield? The NPCs start lagging. Frame drops. Whole server crashes.

Amuro Ray? That lil bro thinks he’s HIM. But he’s just a mid bozo with plot armor and daddy issues. I’m the real main character. I got the Sigma grindset, the Rizzening, the Mecha Mojo. I’m not just Char Aznable—I’m Char Rizznable.

And let me be crystal: we’re not just fighting for Zeon. We’re fighting for the drip. For the skibidi survivors. For every soldier who’s ever been gaslit by a Gundam pilot with a bowl cut. We will rise. We will slay. We will hit the gritty across the battlefield while dropping 4K no-scope beam saber combos.