>>8980481
Made for her husband?
>Beelzebub's husband Maxwell stands on a stage, wearing a glittery, skin-tight jumpsuit with the words “Certified Bub Expert (BEEFCAKE & BUBOLOGY)” bedazzled across the chest.
>A spotlight shines on him as smooth jazz plays in the background.
>"Ladies. Gentlemen. Demons. Angels. Ghosts. And confused Halo players who accidentally clicked this thread—welcome. Today, I, Maxwell, King of Fabulousness and the proud husband of Mother Sky herself, shall answer the age-old question: How does one truly ‘Beelze the Bubs’?”
Step 1: Appreciate the Bubs
>"Before you even THINK about touching, you must appreciate! You see, Beelzebub’s bubs are not mere mortal breasts. They are divine, gravity-defying wonders sculpted by the cosmos themselves. They deserve admiration, worship, poetry—why, I’ve written entire sonnets dedicated to them!"
Step 2: Engage in the Ritual of Touch
>"Now, when it comes to contact, one must remember—Beelzebub is an Elder Demon. You do not simply grope; you offer to the bubs. You must approach with respect, reverence, and both hands~. Bonus points if you whisper sweet language, such as: ‘Oh great and magnificent bubs, let me bask in thy warmth!’”
Step 3: The Full Beelzing Experience
>"Ah, my dear students, this is where true enlightenment is reached. To fully ‘Beelze the Bubs,’ one must master the holy trinity: Squeeze, Worship, and Suck. But be warned—too much enthusiasm may result in being pinned beneath Beelzebub herself. Not that one would complain, mind you!”
>"Maxwell, for the love of Fortune—”
>“Hush, my love! The world must know the glory of thy bubs!”
Step 4: Survive the Aftermath
>"After a successful Beelzing, one must be prepared for potential consequences—such as loss of breath, dizziness, or in the best cases, being lovingly smothered under the weight of perfection. But fear not! If you perish in the bubs, you die a hero."
>"Now go forth, young Anons, and Beelze wisely!"