in 2023, 2024 as well as this year. guess who failed her dreams for the third time? yeah me. i hate myself and i'm so fucking exhausted. i really thought i could at least start a relationship with a white man this year. i was planning to be pregnant by late 2025. not happening. i am as khhv as ever. my womb is as empty as ever. the clock is ticking. the older i get the lower my chances of finding a white bf. i have to hurry up. no matter what, i will be carrying a white baby in 2026. i have to somehow. it can't be impossible right? i am tired of being alone. today i will go to sleep feeling cold and lonely, wishing i was in a white man's arms. and the next day. and the other day. the emptiness never ends. it will only go away once i find my white man.