>HORSE FAAAACE

No! Of course not! You'd resigned yourself to never seeing his horsey face ever again— until you were God and could smite him properly— but, as he's delivered himself to you, you don't intend to hold your tongue. "I think you should APOLOGIZE! Actually, I happen to think you should— should— should grovel, at my feet, for all the LYING and BETRAYING you did, but— do you think he should grovel, Gil?"

A pause. "I-I-I-I think he should apologize."

"He should— yes! That's what I said! He should apologize. Because that's the normal thing to do, after you spend weeks and weeks SCHEMING, and— I can say that more than anybody! Because I used to not apologize at all! Right, Gil?"

"...Yeah."

"I used to not, because I had an EVIL SNAKE in my brain telling me not to. And when he stopped being evil—" That might be generous. He got marginally less horrible. You're not getting into specifics with Horse Face. "—when he stopped being evil, it was still hard! So I— I understand that it might be difficult to come to grips with the magnitude of your crimes. And maybe apologizing seems really scary, because you have to think about what a terrible person you are. And you have to admit that you're a terrible person. And the person you wronged might still be mad at you, even after you apologize. But it doesn't matter! It's the right thing to do! And you should know that, being a million years old. Or a hundred. Or however much."

Horse Face, eternally curse his name, applauds. "Very eloquent! Inspirational! Of course I apologize."

No he doesn't. He's not supposed to do that. "For?"

"For failing to disclose my professional responsibilities, which I believe you would deem 'lying to and betraying' you. Caused you a lot of distress. Quite sorry."

You pause. "But you're lying."

"Oh, no. Very serious. Terrible, terrible thing I did. Awful."

But he's lying! Right? Richard? Are you missing something? He's saying all the correct words (could stand to lay it on even thicker, in your opinion), and sort of making the correct face, but it's stanched in a disgusting layer of Horse Face. Are you just being mean?

«No. I would assume insincerity.»

So your vile nemesis Horse Face is double-lying to you. One more new low. "You're still lying," you inform him. "Because you're a LIAR. I want a REAL apology, and if you don't give me a REAL apology, maybe I'll—"

"Will you? Ah, well. Mngh." He sits up a little more. "This does seem to have gone rather further south than expected. Lesson learned! We'll be friends next time."

"We'll be friends," you say.

"Oh, yes. Very much so."

"Next time. Horse Face, there is not going to be a— the world is ending."

"Ah! So I've heard."

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