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>Journal Entry No. 531

>It's December again
>We walked in the brisk afternoon air, nothing but the crunch of gravel breaking the still of the air
>Nothing needed to be said
>Just my presence was enough support
>Besides, there was nothing else to say
>She was gone, and there was nothing more I could do about it
>I did all I could and it still wasn't enough
>We came to the lake, just shy of the water
>He inhaled deeply, tried to put on a brave face, and faltered
>"A year sure does fly by, huh."
>Voiced aloud, it sounded more for his sake than mine
>I offered a thin smile, knowing all too well of the weeks of despair, the brief moments of acceptance, and the descent back into dejection
>There were no condolences to offer, no well-wishes, no hopes and dreams to combat the cruel realities of the situation
>"She's really not coming back."
>Stated, not asked
>I wish there was something I could have said to bring him some peace, but it had already been said before
>It started with "She'll turn up!" and ended with "We can't say for certain what happened."
>Eventually, we had all accepted the best next truth:
>"Wherever she is, she's at peace."
>He scoffed. Not bitterly, just in disbelief
>"I just want closure. That's it."
>"How's Nelly handling?"
>He shrugged
>"Well enough."
>"And the wife?"
>He shuddered against a chilling breeze
>"Oh, you know how she gets," he spoke resentfully behind an air of indifference, "still bitter, still blames us, or anyone but herself-"
>He buried his tightening face in his hands, steadying himself before letting go and exhaling into the sky above
>"No. I'm not doing this today."
>He feigned a smile; I gave a knowing glance
>"That's alright, I know it's still..."
>The fog of his breath hung around his antlers, twirling lazily upwards
>"... unimaginably difficult for you all."
>His eyes to the ground, I saw a twitch of a snarl
>Then, eyes closed, a pensive smile
>Standing, we continued down that gravel path