Meet Anna (Ania) Karnkowska. Professor at University of Warsaw. I’m completely obsessed with the idea of kidnapping her, keeping her caged like a farm animal (one of those cages to tiny that her toes stick out of the bars) and force feed her for a few days birthing but mashed potatoes mixed with sugar and melted butter 8 times a day - about 8000 calories a day worth.

I’d keep her clean and pretty but constantly taunt her about how tasty she’s going to be, and how her meat will be the most tender meal anyone would eat. I’d keep referring to her as my little piggy. Once she’s gained about 6-8 more kilos, I’d feed her nothing but oranges for 48 hours to infuse her meat before sedating her and prepping her for dinner as a whole roasted pig.