>>24704859
I read the first chapter of this, and I’m assuming it’s yours. Overall I liked it, but one thing I think you should remember is that there a different ways to write the same scene. For example, in the beginning, when describing the water, instead of just telling the reader how it looks, use dialogue, or some other method, to explain how it looks. It will come off better that way, you can also use the dialogue to progress the plot naturally. Him simply remarking how it looks comes off as odd. This is something that improved my writing, which I got from “conversations with Goethe.” I’ll stop there though, because it’s your writing, your voice, and I don’t want to change that. Good luck.