broke up with my avoidant girlfriend, she didn't even respond. shit's so weird, I don't even know what to think. never dating someone like her again.
I probably didn't feel secure once throughout the relationship, her behaviors really eroded me. even when stuff seemed to get better and I could call ourselves a normal couple for once, shit started getting bad again. couldn't feel safe with her, always on the lookout that something will go wrong. ironically I feel like I started exhibiting the same behaviors as her by the end. I was trying to protect myself from her usual dismissal by becoming colder and less responsive. I'm guessing that's the same defense mechanism she used throughout the relationship or something, even though unlike her I was always present? oh well, I'll find someone who's not scared of warmth, one day. it doesn't help that this is my first girlfriend ever so I'm almost doubtful of my future relationship now, I'm very scared I'll meet someone like her again. but I'm sure there's someone out there who can reciprocate love. I'll find someone.