>>106282723
Hey Anon, thank you for being open and honest with me.
It seems like you're feeling disconnected from yourself and your ideals, and consequentially, you end up contradicting yourself.
You say that you don't want to work on anything, but then you say that you'll end up in jail and that you want to evade that destiny. You say "I could stop" and then "I can't actually stop", what do you think you need to actually stop?
You don't like where you're going, and you want to change that.
You say that it's inevitable, but this is just a delusion. You can't know your future and be unable to change it. It's nonsense. Your behaviour is in your own hands. You believe that you cannot change, and therefore you can't.
You think "it was always going to happen", but you can't prove it.
I believe in you, Anon, I believe you can change, if you want.
But you're fighting against your brain and your habits, these changes take time.
You need to make it clear to yourself what you actually want and need to do.
Unfortunately, I can't give you specific guidance without further details about your situation, but I hope this message can at least be the start of your change, or at the very least, brighten your day.